Broke my promise that the previous post will be the last post,but just to let you guys know,i'll be putting up a new blog that is strictly music-based.So comments are welcome.Link will be provided at a later stage,once i think of a good name,and find a good template.

EDIT: You can now visit the new blog at http://desolate-and-death.blogspot.com/

100th and final post of mine in this blog.

Recently,in aa,someone recommended me to visit a psychiatrist die to a casual remark on my side,where i claimed that i am suffering from depression.

These few weeks,a series of incidents and events broke out,mainly due to yours truly and until today,i snapped completely and finally it seemed to dawn on me that i do suffer from depression after all,where it is a severe case of depression,instead of the self-proclaimed moderate depression.Symptoms?A severe oversensitiveness,loss of interest in life,finding no purpose in life,easily getting emotional. (Readers who think that i'm lying yet again,please fuck off and die.today is 3rd April,fyi).

Last night was spent with me deep in thoughts,thinking about what had gone wrong,but obviously,no answers could ever formulate in my heart.

On that very night,i witnessed my last closest friend leaving my side too,again due to ridiculous and reckless actions that i've committed.I told myself endlessly that i must not let the friendship like how my friendship was ended with a certain somebody.Yet,because of my recklessness,history has repeated itself,without me noticing at all.It doesn't matter whether this friend (whose friendship with me has come to an end last night) chooses to accept my apology anymore,since i've chosen the path to shutting myself out from every one (note there is a space in between) from now on,except for the virtual world,where i may be still be active in.

This insanity must end,but hell,i'm not bothering anymore.The main problem is only my fear of death and pain.

To me,medical help is redundant from now on,since it will be wounding for my family both financially and emotionally.There is no point for them to waste their money on a useless,mindless moron who won't even help himself.

To sgf members reading this:This sounds like the stupid clone who spams aa with his stupid requests and complaints (or rather,whinings),but just to reassure you,i am not him :) I reckon there's no point posting this in aa or AL Diary,as i won't even give much of a damn of the responses i will get for posting this.

To friends who do care for me,save your breath.Like seriously.I will hear you,but will not listen to you.All you can do for me is just pray that i won't hurt anyone else.

To those that i've irritated/bugged or hurt,all i can give is my sincere apologies for all the misdeeds on my side.

This blog shall be left as it is,with the 100 posts (or so Blogger informs me).The shoutbox,of course,is for you to rant all you want.Haters are welcome too.I may/may not respond to the things posted in the shoutbox.Well,again,i will hear but not listen.Thank you for reading this blog,from the bottom of my heart.May peace be with you.

WARNING:DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T STAND VULGARITIES.



OMFG I GOT INTO RETAIL?FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!I'M SO GONNA BLOODY APPEALING,SCREW IT.

k i know it's my fault that i didn't studied well enough,but as the title says,it's a rant,for pete's sake.So please,keep the comments to yourself.KTHXBYE.

The friendship may not end up like how it was between me and C (no,SP students,don't guess who it is,it's not someone you know),but the way i'm behaving now,it sure as hell would end in the SAME FUCKING WAY.And i'd even let it happen again,due to my anger that the communication was a fucking pain in the arse.I screwed up again.Great.Congratulations to me then.

At least 120 days of fasting will commence soon.Fasting for an unknown (well,at least,not to be made known public) cause.Damnit,it's a freaking bag,why so freaking ex.Gosh.Lucky i acted well in front of the sales lady.Branded or not,it's still a damned bag.

Edit: To the recipient-to-be (you know who you are),don't think i'm giving it with ulterior motives in mind.Sometimes i just like to spend a lot of money at one shot.So the ideal thing i want to hear when i give it to you is "THANKS SANTA!!!".Hahaha.

Edit no.2: If you believe in what i've just posted,you're a dumbass.OMGWTFBBQ.Happy April Fool's Day!

Went out with her today again,and concluded that we remain as best pals (or bffs,if you want the modern term for it) is the best way out,just that i am still a bit too enthusiastic during the outing (or date.whatever),putting a toe out of the line every now and then.Looks like i have to have some form of restrictions on my side eh?Haha.

I do hope this friendship between us will last,unlike the previous "best friend",who supposedly claimed to be bffs but ended up as acquaintances.Worse still,we don't even talk to each other at all,no,not even even saying "hi" or sending each other birthday greetings.Well,that's life.

A somebody commented on my "emo" posts,so yours truly will be trying his best to write more POSITIVE things.Heh.Maybe starting from next post?Lol.

Seems the case that i can give advices to people who face situations identical to mine,yet i can't even apply the solutions on my side. :/