100th and final post of mine in this blog.

Recently,in aa,someone recommended me to visit a psychiatrist die to a casual remark on my side,where i claimed that i am suffering from depression.

These few weeks,a series of incidents and events broke out,mainly due to yours truly and until today,i snapped completely and finally it seemed to dawn on me that i do suffer from depression after all,where it is a severe case of depression,instead of the self-proclaimed moderate depression.Symptoms?A severe oversensitiveness,loss of interest in life,finding no purpose in life,easily getting emotional. (Readers who think that i'm lying yet again,please fuck off and die.today is 3rd April,fyi).

Last night was spent with me deep in thoughts,thinking about what had gone wrong,but obviously,no answers could ever formulate in my heart.

On that very night,i witnessed my last closest friend leaving my side too,again due to ridiculous and reckless actions that i've committed.I told myself endlessly that i must not let the friendship like how my friendship was ended with a certain somebody.Yet,because of my recklessness,history has repeated itself,without me noticing at all.It doesn't matter whether this friend (whose friendship with me has come to an end last night) chooses to accept my apology anymore,since i've chosen the path to shutting myself out from every one (note there is a space in between) from now on,except for the virtual world,where i may be still be active in.

This insanity must end,but hell,i'm not bothering anymore.The main problem is only my fear of death and pain.

To me,medical help is redundant from now on,since it will be wounding for my family both financially and emotionally.There is no point for them to waste their money on a useless,mindless moron who won't even help himself.

To sgf members reading this:This sounds like the stupid clone who spams aa with his stupid requests and complaints (or rather,whinings),but just to reassure you,i am not him :) I reckon there's no point posting this in aa or AL Diary,as i won't even give much of a damn of the responses i will get for posting this.

To friends who do care for me,save your breath.Like seriously.I will hear you,but will not listen to you.All you can do for me is just pray that i won't hurt anyone else.

To those that i've irritated/bugged or hurt,all i can give is my sincere apologies for all the misdeeds on my side.

This blog shall be left as it is,with the 100 posts (or so Blogger informs me).The shoutbox,of course,is for you to rant all you want.Haters are welcome too.I may/may not respond to the things posted in the shoutbox.Well,again,i will hear but not listen.Thank you for reading this blog,from the bottom of my heart.May peace be with you.